Green Friday

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone, and we once again find ourselves catapulted into the holiday shopping season. Family traditions are abundant during the holidays and Thanksgiving has typically been the kickoff to the season. Over the years another tradition has emerged in conjunction with the holiday, the “Black Friday,” tradition. The Friday after Thanksgiving, the biggest shopping day of the year. Stores offer massive discounts and open their doors at 5am, so that the masses can get in and purchase high-end merchandise at rock bottom prices. How can you go wrong? Everyone wins, don’t they?
This year there were a couple stores that were offering huge discounts on electronics, iPods, Desktop PCs, Laptops, PDAs, DVD Players, Digital camcorders and cameras. The offers in the sale flyers caused a buzz and people began waiting in line, some as early as 5pm the day before. Can you believe that? These people go right from Thanksgiving dinner, grab a sleeping bag and head out to an electronics store where they wait 12 hours so they can buy stuff. By 3am the lines extend around to the back of the stores, workers go through the lines passing out vouchers for the products that people want to buy. Of course when the vouchers run out, they don’t notify anyone in line that the product they are looking for is more than likely going to be sold out. Why would they do that, you wouldn’t want people to get out of line and go home, you want to get them in the door so they can buy something else, like Revenge of the Nerds 4 on DVD for $1.99. By 5am, when the doors open, civilized people become animals as they push and shove to position themselves to get what they want. The people who waited so desperately for the discounted laptops flock to the computer department only to find that the laptops have their own special line on the other side of the store, but while they are there, they can look at more expensive laptops. Part of that bait and switch sale philosophy.
You see the deals these stores offer, are just a way to get you in the door so you can buy other things you don’t need. It is an indirect bait and switch. You come to the store to buy the PC you saw in the ad for $150, but when you realize they only have 20 or 30 in stock, and you aren’t gonna get one, they’ll try to sell you something similar, but more expensive. You see the truth of the matter is that these sales ads are just teasers. They are lures to get people in line. And constantly people take the bait. Once they hook you, you’re in their boat. 1000 people waiting in a line for the items in the sale ad, but the quantities of stock are only 20 to 30 per item. They are fucking with you! They open at 5am and have these 6-hour sales. They are fucking with you! They want you to leave your families on Thanksgiving, fuck putting up the Christmas tree; they want shopping to be your priority. They are fucking with you! There is no need to open at 5am; they just know that if they dangle some deals in front of your face they can come up with 5 extra hours of business. And I know what some of you are thinking, “well it says in the ad, only 20 in stock per store.” Well just because they have a disclaimer does not mean they are behaving ethically. In fact, I think that should put another disclaimer on the add that says, “we are a bunch of assholes only concerned with making as much money as we possibly can, so here are 30 camcorders for you obedient consumers to fight over, and if you don’t get one, we do have iPods, and plenty of other things for you to buy.”
But you know the irony of it all. If you ask the consumers, they’ll all tell you that it is a hassle, that they hate waiting in the lines, and that the stores are not doing enough for their costumers. But nothing changes; they all still do it. Year after year they keep lining up earlier and earlier. They keep coming back for more. Shopping is the thing we do best. Consumption is the only lasting American value. We can’t get enough discounts on shit, we just keep buying and buying and buying. In fact, we turn a blind eye toward all else that exists because we are so wrapped up in acquiring material goods. We are infected with consumerism. All of us. We buy houses, cars, appliances, computers, cell phones, satellite radios, plasma TV’s, and whatever other things that we feel will make our lives more convenient. You know, I once accompanied someone to Best Buy for one of these “Black Friday” sales, and the Best Buy was adjacent to a Barnes & Noble, and the Barnes & Noble opened at 3am in hopes to draw some of Best Buy’s line dwellers. And I thought it rather symbolic that there was not a soul in the bookstore. Not one, the only people that went into the Barnes & Noble went in to buy coffee and muffins, fulfilling the other great American passion, eating. They could have been handing out free copies of the greatest works of literature ever created, and no one would have gone in. Shopping and eating, our 2 great passions. Fuck reading.
I know it sounds a bit cynical, but this is who we are. If it weren’t than these stores wouldn’t have these sales. The retailer owners are just gonna keep screwing with the public as long as they put up with it, which means forever, because the public will continue to be loyal obedient consumers as long as the products are shiny enough. The thought that I leave you with is this; do you really think that any of the big retail companies call it “Black Friday?” I don’t think so, I think the only color they are concerned with is green.